Towards the end is when I really started noticing things.  Like how he’s get mad at the girls but never really punish Kyla.  Ashley would take the front and get the most yelling.  Or they’d both want something and he wouldn’t say yes until Kyla asked for it.  I just felt like it was unfair and he was favoring the younger sister.  Christine was the same in those years.  But something was off.  No one noticed it but me.  Not even Ashley.  She just said her dad was getting old and cranky.  

Anyways back to the present.  

Dad was briefing them on the details of tomorrow.  I listened half heartedly.  My body was distracting me.

I couldn’t stop tracing Ashley’s tattoo on her wrist.  The heart that represents our first kiss.  I couldn’t help but notice my heart pounding in my chest, threatening to break through.  And even if all that wasn’t going on I wouldn’t be able to hear over the drum of my pulse beating in my ears.  My eyes stayed focused on the girl in my arms.  

I slowly traced her face, and each feature with my eyes.  Her beautiful brown eyes framed with long lashes, to her absolutely perfect, cute nose, and her supple pink lips.  I couldn’t find one flaw on her.  

At this point I was staring.  I was patently staring with not a shame in the world.  My brain was sending alerts to my eyes to tell them to QUIT IT.  But the transmission was getting lost along the way.  

Your body has a break panel.  Like the ones in our house that control the water and electricity and stuff.  You flip a switch in the panel and it tells the house what to do.  You want the lights in the basement to work.  Flip that specific switch and ‘snap’ the lights are on.  But if it were to break, and you repeatedly flicked that dial nothing will happen.

That’s what happened in my brain.  The switch that controls my eye balls are out of commission.  And I really don’t mind the view.

“Spencer.  Spencer are you there?”  My dad said while waving his hand in front of my face.  I snapped out of my daze and looked around confused.  It was only me, Ashley -in my arms- and my dad in the room.  Ashley was looking up at the ceiling deep in thought and I don’t think she noticed my back burning stare.