The room is spinning from the crazy thought processes that single statement caused. Well – maybe the alcohol had a little bit to do with the spinning room and the fuzzy sight – but nonetheless, I was bouncing between happiness and guilt.

I was happy, because for once I wasn’t thinking of us as having an expiration date stamped on what we have. There was no end in sight. Suddenly, what we had was similar to staring at an ocean during the sunset. The warm colors relax you and with no edge of the world in sight, you feel comfortably small.

But I felt guilty. She was forming her lifestyle around me. What would happen if she met the one guy that was perfect for her, but didn’t want to share her? Would she leave him or me? Honestly, I would feel like shit either way.

At that moment, I decide that backing off, backing down, is what would be best. Maybe all of what we do has been clouding her judgment. Maybe if she has some room to breathe she will see us for what we are. ‘Maybe’ never did count for much…

Soon enough, the clock was nearing five in the morning and both of us seemed exhausted. Upon reentering the room, I crawled into bed next to Ashley and pulled the covers over me. I don’t even know how it started. All I know is that her lips were being kind enough to grace mine with their presence.

It was perfect to say the least. There were no expectations. It was gentle – yet mind blowing. Kiss after kiss and we fell perfectly into a rhythm that felt very similar to that of my heart beat. Nothing else existed at that moment. It was just her and I, kissing, feeling, touching and best of all – loving. The way her hand lightly stroked my hair, the way we stayed pressed against each other as tight as possible – it all pointed to the same key emotion.

And that key emotion was striking like a chord on a guitar. It was hitting like a note of a pianist. It was stroking like the brush of an artist. It was magic in the best of ways. It was the kind of magic we all used to believe in once upon a time. It was perfect.