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    Church of Hot Addiction – (Chapter: Chapter One)

     

    Through all those years in school I never once met another girl who made me feel anywhere close to the way that Ashley made me feel back in high school. I always regretted that we had lost touch that first year I was in college. I guess I wasn’t surprised when I would visit that Ashley would be nowhere near L.A. and I would always leave with a sad and empty feeling. I ended up reducing the amount of visits I made to L.A. because I couldn’t stand the feeling any longer. I feel like I have moved on enough to not let the past dwell in my mind any longer but every once in awhile I get the urge to find Ashley whereever she may be.

     

    I always figured that Ashley had made it into the music business and that maybe one day I would see her face on a billboard or CD cover somewhere but this never came to be. I have no idea where she is now and I try not to think about if she is in a loving relationship with anyone else.

     

    I walk over to my boss’s desk and toss the files containing the contracts onto his desk. “Here you go. I’ll be in my office if you need me to change anything.” I said walking back down the hall.

     

    “GREAT JOB CARLIN!” I hear yelled out at me. I roll my eyes and return to my other work.

     

    I pretty much spend almost all of my time at work these days. I guess because I don’t want to be alone in my house hearing all the sounds that would drive a person crazy with fear. I have debated off and on whether or not I should maybe get a dog or something but then I remember that I work all the time and would probably end up forgetting to feed them and in turn killing them. The idea of coming home to a dead animal is not one I would like to entertain in real life.

     

    I dive into the piles of files I need to review for next week’s meetings and before I know it my clock reads 2 AM. I debate whether or not I should go home and opt to just sleep here. I have done it many times before and my boss never complains. I put my files away and pull out a blanket and pillow from my filing cabinet. I kick off my shoes and lie down on my full length sofa that my boss insisted on putting in my extremely large office.

     

    At these times when I’m alone in the office and trying to fall asleep I can’t help but think back to the times that Ashley would sing me to sleep on the occasions that my mother would actually let me stay over at her house. I can feel her hand caress my cheek as she sings softly into my ear. Her voice is so peaceful that I can feel myself drifting away. How I miss those times and how I miss that life I used to know and love.

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