Rose nodded; glad that I noticed it too, I think she was still kind of mad at me for saying yes to the Cullen’s. I knocked on Jaspers door, and said ‘it’s me Bella.’ It still felt weird to not just walk in. Esme said because we were older now, we couldn’t walk in incase someone was changing.

He opened the door in a flash and I took a seat next to his bed. He had the TV on low and I could barely hear it. I knew he wasn’t actually watching it. It was iron chief. He plopped down on his bed, while I started a new poem. I hadn’t written a happy one in so long. Most were hopeful in this journal. When the painful ones slowed to a few a months, I sold them. I didn’t want my pain anymore. I was ready to move on. I wanted something wonderful to come out of my suffering.

Now, I kind of wish I had saved some for everyone to be set up with college money. I hadn’t thought of that. I was hoping that I could sell my happy ones as quickly as my sad ones. The song broker gave me his card. He wrote his personal number on the back. I had a feeling he wanted me to keep selling to him.

I wrote for a good twenty minutes when Jasper spoke. I stopped immediately and listened.

“Have you ever written anything for me, Bella?” I smiled, he knew I had written some for Rose and Esme, but I didn’t show them until they asked. I knew they were ready when they asked. Jasper was the most upsetting. I didn’t think I would ever get to play it for him.

“Yes, would you like to hear it?” I asked, slight excitement glinting in my eyes. “It’s about your mother. Well, it could be about Rose and I too… It’s more like all the women in your life, mostly your mother.” I had to give him warning. I didn’t want to just throw pain in his face. When I played Rose’s she cried for three hours. She said it was because I made her past so beautiful.

He nodded his head and I left my journal on the floor, practically running to get the CD. The record company put all the songs I wrote on a CD for me. There was seventeen CD’s total. I’m pretty sure about seventeen songs per CD. I organized what went where.