Finally the pain started to subside. And after what must have been a few hours, stopped all together. The relief was so intense I found myself laughing as I emerged from the pile of potatoes. I hadn't even realized the smell that came from them. After a minute it occurred to me that I was not in fact dead. I was walking in the same cellar I had come in. No. No. The euphoric laughing faded abruptly. I realized what I had become. I was a monster. I was the very thing I had tried to kill only a while ago. I fell to the floor in my shock and despair. As I sunk the cellar seemed to grow darker, and I noticed a stake lying by the far wall of the cellar. I was insanely encouraged by this. I was overjoyed that I could end myself. Rid the world of the animal I had become. I lurched towards it, and a determination I had never experienced before raged through me, and I drove the stake at the heart of my pale body. Thud. I looked down, and the stake hadn't even pierced the skin, despite the crazed force I had attacked myself with. I tried again. The same thing. It didn't work. I wasn't dying. I hadn't even felt the stake's stab.

So I couldn't be killed. Maybe I didn't have to die after all. Maybe I could live peacefully with humans by choice. My hope rose as I thought this and I climbed up out of the dark cellar to find it was day. How long had I been here suffering? I walked out into the now populated London street.

I was quite recovered from my suicidal urges. I was feeling quite uplifted, there should have been a sun shining to match my mood, but the sky was a typical London gray today.

I knew I still couldn't be discovered by friends or relatives so I ducked into a carpenters to figure out my next move away from the busy street. The carpenters was a small room, cramped with various workspaces. I sat down in a chair by the counter and closed my eyes to think. I heard the door open, the creak much more definite than it would have been to human ears I suppose. And then the thirst. I jumped from my seat, my eyes instantly open, reasoning forgotten. I saw a young woman with a small child next to her staring at me in alarm. I fought back the raging urge to sink into the woman's pulsing neck with great difficulty. I was no longer Carlisle. I was a monster. I had to leave the room, running I couldn't take it one more second. I didn't even take time to apologize to the startled woman. I ran away from the carpenters, running from the streets,running from people, running from myself. Soon I saw that there were no people around. It had taken a minute for me to reach the woods, a mile out of town! Clearly I had been naive about my situation. There were many things I didn't know about this evil world I had been cruelly thrown into. There was no co-existing. I still remembered the scent of the woman's blood in my head and I had to fight the urge to go back. Imagine! I even wanted to hunt down an innocent mother just for her blood. I had to end myself. I refused to harm anyone because of what I was. In my mind I possibilities of ending this world. Ending the animal inside me.

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