I was intrigued by her questions, yet I couldn’t care. I tried to care. I tried to question back. Why whatever do you mean, Madison? The words just simply didn’t come. It didn’t matter much. I knew she would continue.

“Look, Sweetie. Just because Aiden and Kyla live in Chicago now doesn’t mean that Ashley’s going to show up.”

It happened before I knew that it would. The sentence registered in my brain, and I broke the law. You know, Newton’s fourth law about the head. I moved my head away from the counter and way too quickly. I vomited everywhere. Then the world went black.

Somehow I had made it to my couch. My beautiful couch. So soft. So lovely. I had to fight my crazy bitch mother for this couch, but I won in the end. I kicked ass, and I got my couch. Yay! I had abandoned the tiny little glass. Now I was taking my drags directly from the bottle. I sucked the liquor down like it was supplying my life force. Soon, all I could see was her face. Her beautiful face, with her beautiful smile and her beautiful eyes. So beautiful. Her dirty blonde hair was flowing around her face, and her eyes were smiling at me. Tiny looks specs of happiness stared back at me. Her right eyebrow cocked slightly in that ‘come and get me’ way. Those lips. They were always wet—always shiny—begging to be tasted. She was beaming at me. Why? Why was she smiling at me like that? I was nothing. I was toxic. A silly drunk, who couldn’t even find anyone else willing to waste their afternoon with me. Everyone was gone. Everyone was in Chicago.

I heard a ringing, but I thought it was in my head. It wasn’t until it came again and again that I drug myself off of the couch and wandered to the door. I didn’t really need company at the moment, but I didn’t seem to know that. Upon looking through the peephole I found that Glen was there. He was waiting on me to open the door. I just stared at the wood.

The knocking began after the ringing, and soon I couldn’t take anymore. I pulled the door open, and walked back to my couch without saying anything.

Glen joined me in the living room, but remained silent. He was looking at me with this weird expression that made me believe that maybe he knew what was wrong with me. Maybe he knew that I was the scum of the earth and everyone had disappeared. Maybe he hated Chicago as much as I did. Those eyes. Her eyes. They bore into me.

That’s when the tears came. I knew they would. They were just waiting for the perfect moment. Selfishly, of course, they waited until I wasn’t completely alone. Tears are quirky like that. They wait until you can’t hold them any longer, and then the floodgates open.

Sobs wracked my body. I was shaking in Glen’s arms. I needed something. I needed something, but I didn’t know what it was. Kyla’s words came back to me. “Ashley, figure out what you’re looking for. At least then you will be closer to finding it.” I couldn’t find it, and it hurt.

“Don’t leave me,” I begged him. I was ashamed at how needy I sounded. Downright desperate. I didn’t care, I cried for hours before falling asleep with my head in Glen’s lap.