She knew Cortese would kill her given the chance
and if she died then there would be no hope for these people. Still
she had never killed before and she wasn’t going to start
now, so she did her best to disarm him and when she had him on the
ground he looked into her eyes and surrendered. She looked back at
him knowing she couldn’t trust him so she kept her eyes on
him while she called over two of the strongest villagers. They came
over and picked Cortese up from the ground and as soon as he was up
on his feet, he pushed one away hard and punched the other guy and
took that moment and pulled a hidden dagger from his arm band and
went after Xena. By then she had her back turned and there were
yells for her to watch out but she didn’t need them, she felt
him long before he could even get close to her.

 

 

Her instincts kicked in and when she turned around,
she ran him through with her sword and looked into his eyes as he
looked into hers and grinned. “Your first kill,” he
said as blood ran from his mouth and she looked at him then pulled
her sword free and dropped it to the ground. “Help,”
she cried as Cortese fell to the ground and she went with him still
yelling for someone to help her. “Xena you can’t help
him but you can help everyone else,” Athena said as she
appeared next to her chosen and Xena looked at her. “You can
heal him,” Xena said and Athena looked at her.

 

 

“I can’t, this is how it’s
supposed to be,” Athena said and Xena stood and looked into
Athena’s eyes where Athena could see the turmoil in
Xena’s eyes. “You need to help the rest of these people
Xena,” Athena said and Xena looked at her then around her at
the people who were still fighting Cortese’s men. Xena let
out a breath and went to help them all and when it was all over she
was just numb. Xena helped out the villagers since she was great in
healing she helped all those who were hurt and anything else she
could do before she left she did.

 

 

Two and a half weeks later she returned home and
she was quiet and withdrawn as she thought about her first kill.
She talked to no one about it not even Lyceus who begged her to
tell him or anyone what was wrong. Instead she kept to herself and
at night she cried for Ulysses wishing her were here to comfort
her. A week after that, she started to get back to normal and
trained by herself not really wanting to talk to Athena, somewhat
mad a the goddess for putting her in a situation where she had to
take someone’s life. “Are you ready to talk to me
now?” Athena asked Xena as she appeared by her in
Xena’s room and Xena turned and looked at her.
“No,” Xena said and Athena looked into the eyes of her
chosen, “I know you’re hurting Xena,” she said
and Xena looked at her. “Do you?” She asked in a
sarcastic way then turned and continued picking up in her
room.