crossing lines for maura

After what felt like years had passed but was perhaps only an hour, Jane came back to reality.

She needed to calm down before someone spotted her and called the cops for the crazy woman.

A sharp jutting pain in her lower back helped to distract her mind and drag her back to reality.

After blindly patting at her back, Jane retrieved the nickel 9mm from the back of her waistband where she had hastily stuffed it. For a brief moment she felt guilty for the inevitable trouble she had caused the young man guarding the door. Shaking her head and her mane of wild locks roughly Jane cast the silly thought aside.

How odd she must look, sitting in a car alone in an alley, a look of shock on her face and a shiny gun in her hand.

Jane’s senses returned slowly and on autopilot she stepped out of the car and glancing around for security cameras or witnesses she made her way to the dumpster. Jane methodically wiped down the gun, removing all her fingerprints and ditched it in the depths of the dumpster.

Evidence disposed of, she slumped against the dumpster.

Jane’s mind flicked through images of her actions. She had been willing to kill in cold blood. She had been willing to die for Maura. Paddy Doyle was right. Jane had run straight past her moral lines. She was a disgrace to her badge.

A shudder ran through her body and the image of a carefree Maura teasing her about eating too much Pizza flashed in her mind. Jane had destroyed part of herself to protect a larger part. The sacrifice was necessary. It had to have been worthwhile and no one could ever know. They could never know how selfish Jane was. Jane was no hero, she protected Maura because she needed her.

A glance at her watch told Jane she was late for her movie night with Maura. Again on autopilot Jane moved to her trunk and hid her spare snub nose revolver inside.

Driving at exactly the speed limit she arrived at Maura’s almost an hour later.

Jane barely felt able to move but Maura’s home had been broken into last night. Maura needed Jane’s support. Her own inner conflict would have to wait. Jane would play the supportive friend, offer reassurance and listen quietly about Maura’s most recent disastrous date with some man who had no idea how wonderful she was.

Jane knocked briskly on Maura’s door and was surprised when it opened almost immediately.

Maura’s face was scrunched in annoyance as she opened the door. The fact she had been waiting for Jane and was upset by her lack of punctuality were thinly concealed.

Jane pre-empted Maura cutting her off. ”I know I’m late Maura. I’m sorry, I’ve had a hell of a day. I got stuck across the city following up on a bogus lead,” Jane said in a tired and pleading whisper.

Maura still standing at the door took breath to speak but stalled in mid inhale as she noticed the expression on her best friends face.

Maura noticed Jane looked strained, as though a great weight rested on her shoulders. The dark rings under her eyes were etched into her face and her eyes betrayed exhaustion and something else. Something haunted floated in their depths.

Maura hesitated and then said, ”It’s okay. I made lasagne so we can just reheat it. It’s your turn to pick the film anyway.” Jane sighed in relief, her body sagging even as she walked into Maura’s home.

Jane knew exactly what Maura was doing and was once again thankful for her. For her quirkiness that let her read the desperation for peace and sanctuary in Jane’s facial expression.

Maura looped her arm around Jane and tucked her head on her shoulder as they walked into the house. The warmth of her embrace bringing calm to Jane. Unconsciously Jane’s body relaxed. She was safe, Maura was safe. That was all that mattered.

”You look tired, after dinner you should change into sweats and have a cup of camomile tea. You can stay here tonight.” Maura said gently.

Jane looked down upon her best friend with awe. Maura always knows what Jane needs. Her best friend is always there for her. It may not be what Jane wants but it’s enough. Maura brings her peace. A peace thought lost to the hands of Hoyt and the hate her job forces her to face. No matter what it cost Jane she would always be there to protect her.

At any cost.

Across any line.

Always.

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