Tina slowly exits the cab and looks around at the dim surroundings. She pays the driver. He thanks her and drives off leaving her standing in the parking lot. She stands there alone, feeling more lonely than she ever thought she could. She feels as though the world has left her behind. Everyone around her continues on, but for her time has stopped. In the space of happiness she ceases to exist and the promises of tomorrow lay in peices, strewn across the vast expanse of nothingness she once called her life. She thinks of a time when things were simple…..a time when happiness and love came easy. Strong, caring arms of security would encompass her and chase away the demons at the doorstep of her heart. She now realizes how fragile all things are in life. How hard it is to attain something and keep it thriving when in a blink of an eye it is lost. Nothing is promised, not even the morning. This much she has learned. She jokes with herself at what a fast learner she is and wishes that fate would have chosen to teach her this lesson at a lesser cost. But she knows this is not the time for humor. Humor is for when your heart no longer aches for your losses and you can look back and laugh about how much of a better person you are from the experience. No, now is not that time. She wonders how even though internally she is drowning in sorrow her mind can still lighten the mood. It must be the body’s way of keeping us sane. Reminding us to smile through the tears and giving us at least one strand of life to cling to, only momentarily putting off the inevitable breakdown. The breakdown….she can feel it coming. The hot tears begin to form and she tries desperatley to fight them back. Not now, not here. She takes a deep breath and clears her mind. Looking down she thinks how stupid she must look just standing there holding her small overnight bag in a dark LA parking lot. Time to get on with it. No sense in holding it in forever. By tomorrow morning everyone would know. Talking about it in whispers around coffee and croissants. Licking their lips at the prospect of the truth. Sustaining their curiosities on the circle of gossip until either she or Bette sat down to join them. Then they would mumble their last sentences, letting their presumptious conversation die down. Leaving the air thick with questions, rumors, and the general uncomfortable silence, they would wait with baited breath for a confirmation of what they had already assumed. Were these the descriptions of her friends? Or was it just her cynicism masking their faces? She knew this would be the hardest part. Telling someone for the first time. Once she said it, she could never take it back. Everything would no longer just play out in her mind. It would no longer remain between her and Bette, this horrible dream they were living. Once it eased from her throat, along the striations of her tongue, and past the threshold of her lips it would be true. Mostly she didn’t want to be a failure. She figured once she admitted it that’s how everyone would veiw her. Did everyone else see it coming? Were she and Bette blind to their demise? Did everyone place wager’s on how long they would last? She could see Alice “I’ll give ‘em two months, you know Porter likes the ladies.” Well, at least she proved them all wrong….7 years was nothing to snuff your nose at. She didn’t like feeling this way. It just seems that when someone you so love shows you a side of themselves you never thought existed, it kind of makes you take a look back and re-evaluate everyone you know. How can someone be your complete and total everything, how can you spend every day with them for years and know so little about them in the end? Did she not pay attention? Did Bette only show her what she wanted her to see? This was bullshit…she was angry….angry at Bette, herself, but most of all life. How could she think clearly with all these questions and scenarios running through her head? She was tired….emotionally drained. She couldn’t take any more of this analyzing and dissecting every part of every thing. She just wanted to know one more thing….why was she asking herself all of these questions when she had none of the answers? She felt a slight vibration that brought her back….back to that lonely little parking lot. She reached for her cell phone and read the caller ID. The screen flashed “Bette” and listed their home number. She held the phone close to her mouth and screamed, “***** YOU!” She mashed the power button while it was still flashing Bette’s name then threw the phone into her bag. She began a brisk pace towards the complex she’d been standing in front of. She walked through the door then bounded up the stairs. She stood in front of the door and waited. She took a deep breath, straightened her top, then knocked. The door slowly opened to darkness and a sleepy voice, “Who is it?”