I stared into Bella's eyes. Her innocent, beautiful brown eyes. The only part of her that was the same after what I'd done. Her skin, her cheeks, her face, and her body in general were all changed unnaturally. Her face was paler than usual and also thinner. Her cheeks were no longer pink and rosy. And her body was so broken, so unnaturally changed that I found it difficult to look at. Her stomach bulged awkwardly. Her thin hands cradled it. She looked more fragile than ever.

This wasn't what a pregnant woman should look like. Pregnant women are often described as glowing. They glowed with a presence of another life. They nurtured this life, but also nurtured themselves. They gave life to the child inside them. The child didn't take it away from them. It didn't suck the life out of its mother in order to keep itself alive. 

But my child did. My child was killing the one person that made me feel alive. I knew that when Bella died, I would die. It was simple as that.

I would do anything for Bella. I had killed for her many times over. But I couldn't do anything. I'd already done too much. 

I looked at her again. She already looked dead. I guessed that in a few days when the monster inside of her killed her, she wouldn't look any different. I couldn't imagine her looking any paler, any thinner, any less alive than she did now. I wanted to kill the monster that did this to her. I wanted to rip him to shreds and burn the pieces. I wanted to make him suffer. The problem was that person was me.

New thoughts entered my head. Jacob's. I'd heard his thoughts ever since he entered within a three mile radius, but I hadn't been listening to them. He was inside the house now, talking to Carlisle. 

"Er, Jacob, it's really not the best time," Carlisle was saying. "Could we do this later?"

Hearing this, Bella's face became animated suddenly. "Why not?" she asked me. "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?" 

Her voice was hoarse and rough. It sent a blow to my silent heart each time I heard it. I heard Jacob comparing it to the voices of the newborns in the clearing. 

Maybe all new vampires sound hoarse*, Jacob thought.

"Come in, please, Jacob," Bella called.