I like power. I like being in power.

It’s a very simple idea.

I’m what you call an alpha-female.

But this time, I don’t want this power. I don’t want this hold over Spencer Carlin. Yeah, okay, so I know a huge secret about her. I could use that to my advantage. Or I could be the bigger person and keep it a secret.

Part of me wants to embarrass her the way she’s embarrassed me. It’s only human nature.

But the part of me that loves her and wants to see her happy and safe knows that I can’t do that. I can’t knowingly hurt her.

So I’ve come to a conclusion: don’t hurt her, but use it to get closer to her. It’s very simple. I don’t plan to tell anyone about Spencer being a stripper, and I’m careful enough for it not to slip out, but I can use the knowledge to my advantage.

Okay, so that’s a little maniacal and crazy of me, but I’m your everyday Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. I know that I have to take advantage of this situation because I might never get that chance again.

So here I am, sitting at the lunch table again, still embarrassed from the other day. It’s a good thing that no one else heard that I got the rejection hotline number…besides the fact that everyone already knows. You can’t keep a secret at King. It’s impossible, seriously.

Unless you’re me. I don’t talk to anyone else. I don’t have anyone else to talk to. It’s a sad existence, but it’s going to help me keep Spencer’s secret.

Lunch is boring. It’s always boring. I’ve got my iPod plugged in, as always. What am I listening to? If I told you I would have to kill you. No, seriously, I would. No one knows about my secret obsession with Jason Mraz. I really do love him, and his music, but people think I’m the dark and moody emo music type of girl. Really? Who listens to that stuff? Cry me a fucking river. People in this world have it much worse than your pathetic little life. Most emo kids probably have food on their table and a place to sleep. What about the starving kids in Africa whose parents have abandoned them? Or the children soldiers? Forced from their homes at young ages and forced into a war that they don’t even know why it’s being fought? Yeah, you could have it so much worse, kids.