My attraction was almost instant, undeniable, irreversible… like a hidden a jewel beneath a shaded tree. Just like my shadow, it remained a part of me; subconsciously I was aware of you, and all these emotions that continued to reoccur as ‘meaningless’ dreams.

I began walking with the Sun, occasionally looking up, showing Him my puzzled face. I often feel God’s presence when I’m alone, taking a random stroll along an unusually uneven path. I paused for a moment, taking another glance up at the Sun, my pupils fixated, slowly drawing close – a cold breeze passed by leaving the tiny hairs on my face stand high.

Should I really be feeling this? Could it be I’m slightly delusional? I don’t get it; I don’t want to be different… I just want to be me.  

I shield my eyes away from the burning rays. I blinked several times to regain my consciousness to reality.  A gush of red dots covered my blurry eyes and as I took small steps towards the nearest bench – or to what had seemed like a bench – I found my foot tangled in a fallen branch. I lost my balance a little, swaying back and fourth, trying my utmost hardest to untangle the tangled. I collapsed onto the dry patch of grass beneath my feet, burying my head into my hands – I felt exhausted!

My brain hurts my eyes sting… and my heartaches. I don’t know why my life has become such a mess. I’ve never been the rebellious type… You promised to steer me right when I go wrong.  Now I’m wrong and indecisive.

“Yep. In-de-ci-sive” I muttered silently.

I managed to crawl out of my oh-so self pity mode and decided to watch the sky…  My trail of thought lead to Ashlee – those deep brown eyes, her caramel complexion, not to mention her hair, perfectly formed curls that seemed to be placed sparingly around her cheek bones – Jesus, I think I… I like her?  Think about it …Every time she looks at me, this strange fuzzy feeling forms inside my stomach.

                        You’re the chaser, I’m the chasee`. You follow your heart, I follow your mind.

“Spencer!” Screamed a familiar voice.

I’m going crazy, did I just hear… “SPENCER!” this nameless voice screamed louder.

I lifted myself up, dusted the grass off my ass and looked around confused. I noticed a brunette waving at me over at the opposite end of the park. I shaded my eyes, squinted a little, “Oh my God….” It’s Ashlee screaming for my attention.

She began running towards me – I was grinning senselessly as she grew closer… It was almost like a dream or a scene from a cheesy movie. Everything was going in slow-mo, and as a cool breeze gushed pass, it blew Ashlee’s perfectly curled her back and fourth – “Ah, flawless!” 

“Hey Spence! What were you saying? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Oh… err… nothing. I was just saying how random this is, I was just thinking about you…” I can’t believe I just admitted that!

“I’m surprised to see you here too – Wait, you were thinking about me?” Ashlee asked eagerly.

“Er, yeah”

“Okay… Is it good?”

[I paused for a moment or two recollect my thoughts]

“I don’t… I don’t have the right words to say to you. To be honest I don’t understand anything that I’m feeling, but I want you to feel what I’m feeling – I know that makes no sense but… ”

“Listen Spence, I’m sorry if I’m causing you any pain…Just forget” –

I leaned in slowly, placing my finger on her lips. I held her face gently as we grew closer. My heart started beating faster as we began to kiss slowly; the passion grew with the moment…

I broke away whispering “This is how you make me feel”